And so this one isn’t going to be one of the usuals.
It’s not going to be affirming. Instead, we’re going to face it. All the
insecurities, all the meltdowns.
Yeap there are moments you can just be so done. You
try and try and try so hard to get yourself on the ‘right’ track, to be
positive, to be grateful, thankful, whatsoever. And you might be content. This
can last for awhile. And then , you take a moment, look at yourself, look
around you, and BOOM, everything goes down again.
This can be so difficult. Having to deal with
yourself and your insecurities. Why can’t it just disappear?! I don’t want it.
But I need it. Come to think of it, it keeps us sort of grounded at times. Butt
it just doesn’t stop. It keeps growing and growing, till one day you just drown
in it.
Looking around, you may find people so perfect. Then
you think, “oh they may have their share of difficulities too”, like everyone
tells you. But goddammitt, it just doesn’t seem like it. You tell yourself, but
you cant come to terms with it.
Then you start questioning yourself. Why? Why me?
Why so much? Why so terrible? Anddd the list goes on and on and on….
Right now, im just overwhelmed. Might want to just
disappear.
While all these is happening, there can be this bunch of extremely annoying
creatures. Creatures … mean but yeah. The ‘attention seekers’. Well, it is
human nature to want and like attention. And it’s perfectly fine to do so.
HOWEVER…there are these bunch of people… who basically live for & on
ATTENTION.
The super duperr thin ones, who go ‘im so fat…bla
bla bla’’ and no I don’t mean those who suffer from certain disorders, but the
ones who DO IT ON PURPOSE, just so that people will tell them how they aren’t
fat. We all know people like this, don’t we? Oh and not to forget the pretty
ones who go, “damn all these pimples make me look so ugly’, again im talking
about the ones who DO IT ON PURPOSE, because they need a lil attention oxygen. And then just loads of other things that they
do.
What annoys me the most, is the fact that some
people even go to the extent of using DEPRESSION! Depression is something which
cant be taken lightly, and only people who go through it know the weight of it.
And it’s crazy how some people can use it just to gain attention. Depression
isn’t depression, if you’re gonna tweet about it and put it up on your snap
story or insta story, with a FREAKING SELFIE OF YOURSELF, just looking super
drained. Oh not to forget, telling people you want to attempt suicide, so on so
forth. Like what has the world come to?!?! You think depression is something
that can be made fun of? You really want to have it? Well when it hits you for
real, you will definitely regret every bit of nonsense you did.
Faking depression, faking sickness, faking
everything in the world. And then there are people who get so worked up, and
are so concerned about you. While you just enjoy the attention. WOW! It reaches
a point where people start showing fake concern towards you, because they now
know it isn’t for real.
The worst part, it’s never about anyone else, but
them. They don’t show concern when someone else is sick(sick for real!), they
don’t affirm others when they need it, they don’t get amazed, or praise others.
People like this do exist. WHY DO THEY EXIST. ARGH
Alright, done with venting out my frustration, and
back to the real deal now. Honestly, seeing people like these around you just
makes you feel worse. Makes you feel more insecure. Butt it makes you feel a
lilll better about yourself. At the end of the day, at least you’re not as
miserable as you think you are.
This may sound really mean and all, but everyone has
different experiences which causes opinions to differ. So I guess it’s all fair
in the end? But yes, just had to vent it out somewhere. I feel so much lighter
now. Good day folks, let’s not be or at least try not to be one of those who
live on attention.
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