Time heals all wounds...’
Heard this a little too much, but does it though? Perhaps.
Maybe some feelings are just too strong to be swept away with time. Maybe some connections were more than just a passing lesson.
When almost everyone around you tells you to be over something, how could you be right? Am I lying to myself by believing the contrary?
So many questions, and not one answered.
The pain is excruciating. Unbearable at times. The smallest things could trigger this volcano like heart. Tears flowing down at ungodly hours of the day. Sometimes not even knowing why. There isn’t really one ‘why’. There’s too many in fact. Unanswered questions, doubts etc
Toxic. A poison I could live with.
I see people doing it in a breeze, that thing you call ‘moving on’. But here I am, after 2 years and I still don’t know how.
I know how to hide it for sure. Facade. Rebounds. Changed personality. It works. A little. For Instagram at least.
It’ll be alright. One day. Someday. But boy how do you get over someone who made your heart smile? Effortlessly. How do you fight this feeling of envy, when you see everyone have a piece of the person you adore the most. How do you deal with the pain of being invisible and nonexistent. How do you deal with your love thrown away. Like it meant nothing. How do you forget the words said? To your face and behind your back?
How.
How do you deal with the pain, of seeing the person who wouldn’t lift a dust for you, try and move mountains for someone else.
Still looking for answers. Maybe some questions are better off without answers.
Most days I’m full of positivity. Full of hope. And faith. But today, I just want to feel these emotions. Something that I’ve kept inside for a little too long.
Tomorrow it’ll be better but tonight....I just want to feel this pain. For this too feels like love 🤍
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