We make plans for our lives but so does God, and let’s not forget his will always be better than ours. If not now then in the long run for sure. It is frustrating nevertheless, when you work hard and set time lines but shit happens and all of a sudden you find yourself standing at a crossroad not knowing what next.
For someone like me, a planner, there really is nothing scarier but thankfully, another part of me is also a dreamer, helps lessen the damage, well a little at least. After 23 years on this planet we call home, and several crazy experiences over the years I have definitely become a firm believer that everything does indeed happen for a reason.
So when a big wave of shock hit me on the 17th of August 2021, I was numb, confused and did not know how to react. It was supposed to be a happy day, a day I was looking forward to. The end of another big chapter in life, and the beginning of another. But God had other plans. Not quite sure what it is yet......it’s only been about 3 weeks. Phew!
Well I am pretty darn proud of myself though, for waking up, shaking it off, planning my next step without delays. I got this and as hard as it is I will continue to believe that there is a greater good behind this.
I decided to blog this to remind myself that I trusted the process, for once! Shows how much I have grown as a person too. Managing my emotions practically. Not jumping and reacting hastily. Confiding in my trusted inner circle. Woke up everyday with hope in my heart, looking forward. Even on the hard days, and days I was mentally just down, i took time off to just take care of myself. Take myself out on dates, buy myself nice things (retail therapy never goes wrong y’all).
I’m in bed as I type this out, scented candles, dimmed lights and Kodaline playing in the background, and I feel a certain kind of peace. A peace you find even in uncertainty. It honestly is not that bad, there is so much, just SO MUCH to be grateful for. I also have a second chance, another shot to fix this! Something not many have, and for that I am grateful.
This time I am gonna sit back, do my best, take deeper breaths, enjoy life, and take it one step at a time, while I leave the rest to the Lord. In all this hustle, i really have missed out on the little things. There is no rush, no time lines, just me and my precious life with the PRECIOUS people I am blessed with. Gonna enjoy this journey and my youth while I still have it. No rush, no competition, no tears.
Not failure just redirection. Sometimes it’s good to miss a bus, it might have been the wrong ride :)
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